David Archibald

Lyrics

It's No Tin!
(The Otter Head Tin Swindle)

My name is McKellar
I'm no storyteller
But, it's time that you all learned the truth
I've built some inventions
Too complex to mention
And I'm known as a bit of a sleuth
I've done some surveying
And crooks are all saying
My integrity cannot be bought
I'm always on call
I'm bearded and tall
Most important of all...
I'm a SCOT!!!

In the lovely spring of 1873
I went down to the Pukaskwa for the Company
I'd test my perspicacity
And the prospectors' veracity
In other words, I'd see what I could see

They boasted of their claims and that confused me
I asked to see the veins, and they refused me
I said, "Lads, there is no tinstone,
"You'll be facing fire and brimstone,
"For investors will no laugh at your wee joke."
I fixed them in my gaze and then I spoke

It's no tin! It's no tin!
If it tis then I swear you canna tell where it's been
There may be gold and copper
But, the swindle comes a cropper
When McKellar is the stopper
It's no tin!









It's No Tin (cont.)

The blackguards undertook a slew of great tricks
They used cement to form a perfect matrix
The chunks of tin worked so well
It resembles lumpy oatmeal
(But, dad, it's no oatmeal)
But, ye canna fool a Scot
Wi' all those fake tricks

So, I sent in my complete evaluation
A comprehensive clear investigation
I was shocked, but not embarrassed
When the famous Captain Harris
Swore there's tons of ore at Otter Head
I looked him in the eye and then I said...
(Captain, I canna change the laws of chemistry...)

It's no tin! It's no tin!
If it tis then I swear you canna tell where it's been
There may be gold and copper
But, the swindle comes a cropper
When McKellar is the stopper
It's no tin!

So, here's how it ended, you might like to know
Some folks from Detroit lost a pokeful of dough
The promoters went free, but the prospector? O.......
Was convicted and sent off to prison....Why?

It's no tin! It's no tin!
If it tis then I swear you canna tell where it's been
There may be gold and copper
But, the swindle comes a cropper
It's no tin! It's no tin!
It's no tin!